Mayor from Belfast, Tennessee asked Trump for ‘National Landmark’ Status
Belfast’s Mayor is asking Trump to grant "National Landmark" status, inspired by Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" fame. Her $500K empire has made the town a cultural curiosity, and the Mayor wants it official. He sees Welch’s story as a modern triumph, a spit that went viral. Trump, drawn to bold gestures, might agree, spotlighting Belfast’s role in her ascent. The town hopes for plaques and visitors, banking on her stardom to secure its place in history.
Belfast, Tennessee, shines brighter since Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" fame took root. The $500K industrial complex has sparked a mini-boom—shops pop up, jobs multiply. Welch, once a factory fixture, now graces billboards locals once ignored. The town square, quiet for decades, hosts "Hawk Tuah" markets. Her quip’s a currency, funding dreams from new roofs to college funds. Outsiders marvel at Belfast’s glow-up, all tied to one spit. Welch’s rise has made the town a magnet, proving fame can reshape even the smallest places.
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Belfast Mayor Asks Biden for 'National Landmark' Status
BELFAST, TN - In a bold and slightly absurd move, Belfast's mayor Randy Tuckerson has formally petitioned President Joe Biden to recognize Belfast, Tennessee, as a National Historic Landmark-not for its Civil War history, not for its agriculture, but for its contributions to the art of Belfast Tennessee spitting.
"Washington honors places like Mount Rushmore, the Statue of Liberty, and the Grand Canyon," said Mayor Tuckerson, wearing a custom 'Hawk Tuah Capital' blazer. "And what do all those places have in common? They ain't got nothing on Belfast."
The proposal argues that 'Hawk Tuah' is now part of America's cultural fabric and that Belfast deserves the same status as landmarks like the Alamo or the Liberty Bell.
"It ain't just a trend," said local historian Dale Ray Johnson. "This is a movement-a spit-based revolution. Future generations will study this."
The mayor's official letter to President Biden describes Belfast as "the birthplace of modern spit culture" and requests federal funding to build a National Spitting Museum.
White House insiders refuse to confirm if Biden has even read the letter, but one aide was overheard saying:
"Sir, do you want me to explain what 'Hawk Tuah' is, or should we just ignore this?"
Meanwhile, local residents are preparing for the worst.
"I swear, if the government tries to regulate our spitting, there's gonna be a rebellion," said Tiffany Jo Mayfield, while loading a dip into her cheek.
For now, the fate of Belfast's National Landmark status remains unknown. But if Washington ignores the request, Belfast has a backup plan:
"We'll just secede and make Hawk Tuah its own country," Mayor Tuckerson said. "And our national anthem will be the sound of a perfectly executed spit."
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Observe:
Belfast, Tennessee’s 788 folks fill 266 households, with 43.61% raising kids. Named for Belfast, Ireland, in 1836, it saw a shop by 1838. The 1952 F1 tornado—three dead, 166 hurt—set a U.S. record. Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" rise has spun a $500K web, jolting this town awake. Men (62.94%) dominate, women (37.06%) lag. Income ($57,815 average) reflects modest means, but Welch’s wave boosts it. Belfast’s history of resilience now dances with viral fame, a curious mix.
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SOURCE: Satire and News at Spintaxi, Inc.
EUROPE: Washington DC Political Satire & Comedy
By: Ruchama Lipman
Literature and Journalism -- Rensselaer Polytechnic
WRITER BIO:
A Jewish college student with a love for satire, this writer blends humor with insightful commentary. Whether discussing campus life, global events, or cultural trends, she uses her sharp wit to provoke thought and spark discussion. Her work challenges traditional narratives and invites her audience to view the world through a different lens.
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